A student will take your lead in the way you speak
Helps keep the student more calm and controlled
Reduces tension
Keeps the adult in control and in charge
Sets a good model and precedent for how behaviors will be perceived and handled
Prevents students from making a scene and drawing from an audience
Diminishes the student’s power and control of a situation
Is perceived by students as a mature and “adult” manner of handling situations
Indicates to students that everything is okay, under control, and within the adult’s power
Reduces blow ups, tantrums, and other extreme or fringe behaviors
Is soothing and calming for everyone
Causes students to be extra attentive to what you are saying
When should I do it:
When you are processing a problem with a student
When a student is reluctant to follow your directives
When a student is trying to verbally engage you in an argument
When a student becomes loud, yells, gets angry, becomes physically or verbally aggressive
When a student is very upset
When a student is very defiant and oppositional
When a student is anxious, worried, or nervous
When a student is scared or afraid
When giving directions or directives in an emergency situation or other tense setting
When addressing delicate or sensitive topics with students
When calming down students who have become aggressive with one another or are in an argument, debate, or disagreement
How do I do it:
This technique takes a lot of patience, support, self-control and self-talk
Be aware of your own physiological cues to getting angry, annoyed, offended, disrespected and frustrated
When you have those feelings/thoughts, say to yourself talk yourself out of losing your temper
Use “I” statements, ie: “I would like for you to make a choice between doing your work at your desk or at another desk” Rather than “you need to make a choice now about where you are going to do your work”
If possible, remove yourself from a tense situation before talking to the student to calm down
Always provide consequences to students in the most non-emotional state possible.
Use a calm and neutral tone of voice
Use an open and non-threatening body posture
Make slow and subtle movements
Get on the level of the student(s)
Remain calm and maintain a cool and collected composure, even if you don’t feel that way inside
Use direct eye contact unless it seems to be provoking the student
Use cues and signs, like nodding your head “yes” and “no”
If dealing with a student who is emotionally upset, matching your facial expressions to what they are saying can be helpful, for example, when talking with a student who is upset about the death of a loved one, having a solemn look or flashing a frown at appropriate times
