Speak in Calm And Neutral Tone

Why should I do it:

It is a quick method to de-escalate a student
It keeps you in a calm state of mind
A student will take your lead in the way you speak and behave
Reduces aggressive behavior and lashing out
Increase likelihood of coming to a resolution
Improves conflict resolution
Keeps the teacher in a position of authority and control
Prevents students from turning staff against one another or creating ancillary conflicts and tensions
Prevents students from causing a “scene” and gaining the attention of others
Prevents students from playing on the emotions of the teacher

When should I do it:

When you are processing a problem with a student
When a student is reluctant to follow your directives
When a student is trying to verbally engage you in an argument
When a student is escalating
When a student becomes aggressive or threatening
When a student’s emotions are getting the better of them
When students raise their voices, scream, yell, etc
When students become defiant and oppositional
When students are very upset
When students intentionally say insulting, rude, and mean things to intentionally make the teacher angry
When students purposefully try to upset or work up the teacher or others
When students challenge the authority of the teacher and provoke

How do I do it:

This technique takes a lot of patience, support, self-control and self-talk
Be aware of your own physiological cues to getting angry, annoyed, offended, disrespected and frustrated
When you have those feelings/thoughts, say to yourself talk yourself out of losing your temper
Use “I” statements, ie: “I would like for you to make a choice between doing your work at your desk or at another desk” Rather than “you need to make a choice now about where you are going to do your work”
If possible, remove yourself from a tense situation before talking to the student to calm down
Always provide consequences to students in the most non-emotional state possible
Maintain your composure and emotional state
DO NOT match the emotional or other escalated state of the student
Speak in a measured and calm manner
Maintain a non-threatening posture and stance
Do not make threatening or sudden gestures, motions, or actions
Be matter of fact and avoid lecturing or talking on and on
Be succinct
Avoid a lot of back and forth with the student, saying what you need to then walking away in a calm manner