Prevents students from feeding off of the attention of the class or others
Breaks the cycle of escalation, tension, intensity, etc
Reduces the likelihood of further physical, verbal, and other conflict
Establishes your position as being outside of the student’s tactics and usual attempts to get what they want
Helps teach students that engaging in power struggles is futile and will not get them what/where they want
Helps you, the adult, remain calm, clear headed, and more able to make good decisions and actions
When should I do it:
When a student is trying to verbally engage you in an argument
When a student becomes very insistent, argumentative, and will not drop the point
When a student becomes agitated, raises their voice, becomes physically or verbally aggressive or threatening, or becomes threatening in any other way
When the issue the student is arguing about is not essential, important, or crucial (choose your battles wisely)
When a student can’t seem to drop it
When it seems the student is no longer interested in solving a problem, but provoking and being right
When a student just wants to be correct, right, or win
When a student seems to be taking it personally and cannot handle the issue, topic, etc
When giving directives, directions, corrections, or reprimands
How do I do it:
This technique takes a lot of patience, support, self-control and self-talk
Keep responses brief, to the point, and succinct, and avoid lecturing, talking at length, or patronizing
Use a calm and neutral tone
DO NOT match the emotional level of the student, rather remain calm, cool, and collected
State the expectation, then walk away
Offer several choices, give a timeline to decide within, and walk away
Try stating the expectation and consequence, tell the student the choice is theirs, and walk away
Try re-direction if student is able to be de-escalated
Remove student from situation and discuss the issue after time to calm down
Use reflective listening “I am hearing that you feel this assignment is unnecessary”
Ask open ended questions
Use body language that represents openness: If sitting keep legs uncrossed and lean toward the student, If standing keep arms uncrossed and legs open (people often mirror their emotional response with others’ body language, behavior, and words)
Use humor
Validate student’s feelings
Tell the student you want to hear what they have to say, but you both need a break or breather before talking
With belligerent students who argue or engage in conflict on purpose and with intentionality, tell the student you will talk with them later when they can do so appropriately and walk away or state the expectation and walk away
Try keeping a list of rules and expectations on the wall or other visible location, and when a student attempts to engage you in conflict, simply point to the appropriate and relevant expectation on the list and walk away (you may want to explain this strategy to the student before implementing it)
Create a class system or protocol for bringing up grievances, disagreements, complaints, issues, problems, etc
Teach and practice a technique or method with the class on how to have a disagreement with others
Ask the student trying to engage in a power struggle to go back to their seat and write their concerns on a paper, placing it on the teacher’s desk when completed
